Living With The Lies

I don’t know why I do it, but I do. I have this unhealthy obsession with pretending to people that my life is trundling along with absolutely no problems and everything is fantastic when in actual fact it’s falling apart very rapidly and is being held in place by the tiniest of tiniest of threads which can come undone at any time because of the smallest thing, and today i think its happened.

Everything over the past few days were going so well, I went to North Wales with a few friends to chill and to climb Snowdon (which ive always wanted to do) On the last day (the day we were packing the tents down) i felt my mood slipping, so i decided to pretend to be asleep so i didnt bite anyones head off.

So when i got home i found out my perents had cleaned my room, told me to move out (wont give it to me in writting, (my cpn wants a copy so they can help with housing),) got told i had no rights and now they want a chat about things,

To be honest im really not sure what’s going to happen now, as im feeling myself going down again, and i dont want to be in that frame of mind where i might do something, i mean every time something like this happens i norm have the police called on me, or i end up in A&E

so on that note im going to say goodbye, ill try and update the blog after the chat in the morning

A better week…well up and down

Sooo I’m still here after a eventful last week which saw me being admitted to hospital.

This past week since last friday has been alright but not with its dramas; the good points of the week being spreading time out with 3 friends at the pub, and going to oxford pride, also helping out with a event called oxjam which was raising money for oxjam. The bad things about the week was that I had lots of doc/cpn/hospital apptemts to go. The cpn appts did scare me a bit as she kept asking some rather probing questions about home and friends etc, also she found some things out about my thinking spot in town, and doesn’t like me being there as it could be a threat to my safety, so now I have to phone the crisis team 3 times a day without fail, there was also talk about going back into hosp but I mangered to perserd her that ill be ok at home, afterwards I thought about it more and afterall its for help,