Living With The Lies

I don’t know why I do it, but I do. I have this unhealthy obsession with pretending to people that my life is trundling along with absolutely no problems and everything is fantastic when in actual fact it’s falling apart very rapidly and is being held in place by the tiniest of tiniest of threads which can come undone at any time because of the smallest thing, and today i think its happened.

Everything over the past few days were going so well, I went to North Wales with a few friends to chill and to climb Snowdon (which ive always wanted to do) On the last day (the day we were packing the tents down) i felt my mood slipping, so i decided to pretend to be asleep so i didnt bite anyones head off.

So when i got home i found out my perents had cleaned my room, told me to move out (wont give it to me in writting, (my cpn wants a copy so they can help with housing),) got told i had no rights and now they want a chat about things,

To be honest im really not sure what’s going to happen now, as im feeling myself going down again, and i dont want to be in that frame of mind where i might do something, i mean every time something like this happens i norm have the police called on me, or i end up in A&E

so on that note im going to say goodbye, ill try and update the blog after the chat in the morning

A new look at things….

Well the past few days have been reather eventful again, during a meeting with the local crisis team they told me that I have borderline bipoler, which they say would explain a few things and now have to wait for a blood test result on my lithim levels before I can start medction for it, also they’ve fainly taken action about my weight I’m now classed as under weight for my age and are keeping a eye on it with a food dairy for the next week.

Also during the meeting the talk come up again at hospltion if I get any worse or gave them concern that I might be a harm to myself or others, at that point my cpn brought up about my thinking space in the town center which was not good, so I had to agree that ill phone them stright away if I had anything or want a chat about things.

at the home front my perants seem to be skirting around the whole issue of things going on, I told them about the borderline bipoler and my 6month driving ban (dvla found out about my hosp stay and that I was well still am manic) all they said was ‘oh well’, so now when I get in one of my downers they leave it to me and not say anything,
Sooo happy days well not for me